February 7, 2010

There is, I can say with authority, no greater relief-- freedom rather, than for a woman to finally be content with her looks.

We are so many thinga as women we are shapes; curves and bends, kinks and dips. We are also things like textures and thicknesses. A lot goes into a woman‘s looks so, sadly, there is a lot with which to be malcontented.

The world (meaning the impossibly long list of external influences) would tell us one thing, many things, and yet nothing important about ourselves. Largely the world’s perception of beauty, grace, and pleasing shape, is based entirely in the waxing and waning of trends, present markets, and desired demographics. There is of course no real standard. It is instead an amalgamation of such and such’s lips, someone else’s hair, and still yet one woman’s butt and another’s breasts. Add to that Celebrity A’s skin, Celebrity B’s stomach, and Celebrity C’s apparent lack of flaws.

Ourselves (meaning the very short list of internal influences) would tell us instead that we fail. There is nothing to be done and yet everything to be done. Diets to embark on and exercises to try. There are creams to apply and bottles and bottles of things to dump on our heads. And then once all possible outlets are tapped and still we have the same nose, eyes, and rough elbows as we first did…well then (and sometimes before) comes the self-loathing. The “I wish” -es, the if-only-es, and of course the ever classic “Why her? Why not me? ”

But to relinquish the idea that one has to become something that it is, on a genetic level, impossible to be, that is…well that is the acceptance of your own beauty. How can you ever believe that you are beautiful if the validity of your own radiance seems to rest in the notion that you have achieved a perfect mimic of something else? That is no more you than saying there is no man behind the clown makeup or inside the Mickey Mouse suit. It’s just a copy of a lie.

True acceptance and freedom comes then from abandoning the idea that you are not good enough with the genetic material you have. Don’t get me wrong, if it will help you feel better to lose a few pounds or get that mole-removal you always wanted, go ahead.

Just don’t forget that you were written to be the way you are. It’s defined in every cell in your body. How can ten trillion building blocks be wrong? The way you look is really the only thing that you have that is entirely yours. Which means there really never could be a more beautiful you.